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{Will certainly|Can|Is going to} you be Secretive and Withdrawn?

{Do you really|Will you} keep to yourself a lot?

Do you consider if people knew what you actually did {twenty-four|twenty four} hours a day, {they might|they will|they can} look down on you?

If therefore, then {if you're|most likely|you aren't} not alone.

When {We|I actually|My spouse and i} had social anxiety, {We|I actually|My spouse and i} recall being very {deceptive|cagey} about my life and what I did in my spare time.

{We|I actually|My spouse and i} thought if someone found out about me having no friends or no social life, they {more than likely|would not|didn't} with this problem {any longer|any more|ever again}. I thought if a girl I liked found out about my {absence|shortage} of past relationships and experience, her interest would disappear before it even started. Basically I thought if people found away about "the real {me personally|myself}, " then they would instantly reject me.

This kind of caused me to become secretive and withdrawn around people. If someone asked me "what did you do this weekend? {inch|inches|very well} I would try my best to dodge the question. {Although|Despite the fact that|Though} they only asked {to attempt to|to try and} be friendly, I didn't want them to know {I had formed|I had developed|I had fashioned} put in it alone keeping {personally|me personally|me} amused.

After {a great deal|a whole lot} of time working on my social anxiety, {attempting|seeking|striving} to find ways to cure it, and learning the psychology behind it, I figured out the cause of these {deceptive|cagey} behaviours.

Being secretive and withdrawn comes from having a belief that says...

"I Am Inferior"
{Many|Just about all} socially anxious people feel they are inferior in some way to everyone else, of course, if this inferiority was {uncovered|learned} by someone, then it means instant rejection.

This kind of a sense of inferiority could come from:

{deficiencies in|an absence of|too little of} friends or social life,
"ugliness" or a physical flaw,
or {a number of|a dozens of|a 12} other things
{As you|At the time you} feel that you are {substandard|second-rate|poor} in some way, then you're going to {try to look for|look for|search for} ways to cover up or compensate for that feeling of inferiority. Generally this happens through {attempting|seeking|striving} to create a certain IMPRESSION on someone.

Believe about this carefully, because it's important.

Trying to Make "Impressions"
Instead of expressing your personality {openly|widely|readily}, inferiority {enables you to|allows you to|causes you to} carefully {keep an eye on|screen} how {others|other folks} see you. You spent {a great deal|a whole lot} of time and mental energy trying to {be sure|ensure|make sure} "impressions" on people to {get them to|cause them to become|make sure they are} like you.

In psychology, this is called impression management. Impression management is the reason why you make an {work|hard work|efforts} to be seen as someone {you are not|you aren't} in {front side|entrance|entry} of certain people.

{Intended for|To get|Pertaining to} instance, around some {man|person|dude} or girl {you prefer|you want|you enjoy}, you may try to look {very popular|popular|widely used} and social {anytime|when} they walk by. Or perhaps, if you are walking alone, {then you can|you might|then you might} try to avoid them so they don't see you by yourself.

It's all about you trying to {get them to|cause them to become|make sure they are} see you in a certain light.

Here's how the process works: "People can't with this problem because I'm ugly/loner/pathetic, {when|but once|but since} I can create a good impression in their minds, then maybe they will like that impression. {inch|inches}

In essence, {if you're|most likely|you aren't} trying to "trick" people into liking you...

{In the event that|In the event|If perhaps} you feel too {unsightly|unattractive|unpleasant}, you'll only let certain people see you with lots of {cosmetic} as well as constantly check your appearance in the mirror.
If you feel you are a loner, you'll avoid running into people when you're by yourself -- {you might|you could} see them in {the length|the space} walking towards you and avoid them.
If you feel like people {can't stand|abhor|dislike} you because you're too {soft|still|relatively calm}, then when someone you want to impress comes by, you'll try to be louder and more social.
Being Deceptive
{Alright|Ok|Fine}, this is all interesting, but what does it have to do with being secretive and {taken|removed}?

A whole lot, actually.

When you are {performing|behaving|operating} secretive and withdrawn, you basically don't want people {to learn|to determine} about the "real" you.

You don't want them to {learn about|find out about} your bad parts. An {person|specific} want them to know about {the items|those things|the points} you are ashamed of. An {person|specific} want them to realize that you are actually inferior.

Because you think when they do... POOF! They'll be gone!

You think...

when they find out you have a boring life, they'll {will not|refuses to|will not likely} accept you
when they realize you {have zero|do not|don't have any} friends, they'll lose respect for you
when they see you're actually shy, introverted, and insecure, they'll want to have nothing to do along.
So you become secretive and {taken|removed} to avoid being {declined|turned down|refused}. You {may well not|might not exactly} have any friends if you are this secretive, {however, you|however you|nevertheless, you} also don't risk losing {householder's|someones|peoples'} acceptance.


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