Are You {Scared|Frightened|Worried|Reluctant|Fearful} Of {Speaking|Discussing|Chatting|Conversing|Communicating} On {THE TELEPHONE}?

Can you {keep in mind|bear in mind} the {previous} time you were {ill|unwell|sick and tired|tired|suffering}? Maybe you {experienced|got|acquired|possessed} the flu, a fever or a {coughing}. {And may|And will} you {keep in mind|bear in mind} how being {ill|unwell|sick and tired|tired|suffering} made {all} {you will ever have} only a {bit more} difficult?

{Speaking with} people was {more challenging}. Focusing was {more challenging}. Even {sleeping} probably felt {far more} difficult.

Well, that's {nearly the same as} the experience {of experiencing} social {stress|panic|anxiousness|stress and anxiety|nervousness}. It's like {travelling} sick, being {struggling to} do things "normal" people can do easily and {normally|obviously|by natural means|in a natural way|effortlessly}.

For example, {think about} {worries} of {speaking|discussing|chatting|conversing|communicating} on {the telephone}? Back when {I had formed|I had developed|I had fashioned|I put|I needed} really bad {interpersonal|sociable|cultural|public|communal} anxiety, {picking right up} {the telephone} would make me absolutely terrified.

If I {experienced|got|acquired|possessed} {to produce a} phone call, {i quickly} would procrastinate it {before} very {last second}.

In my {mind|brain}, I would {replicate|do it again|duplicate} and rehearse what I {would} say.

My {center|heart and soul} would start {defeating|conquering} faster and faster {when i} imagined dialing {the quantity}.

I would {perspire|sweating} nervously... {Consider} that! Sweating nervously...{in my} house...just {thinking about} making a {telephone call}!

{Just what a} way {to reside|to live on|to have|to reside in|to live a life}.

{So when} I finally {pressured|compelled|required|obligated} myself {to help make the} call ({essentially|fundamentally|quite simply|in essence} when I {experienced|got|acquired|possessed} no other choice), {i quickly} would inevitably {appear} incredibly awkward {speaking|discussing|chatting|conversing|communicating} on {the telephone}. My words wouldn't {emerge from} my mouth {obviously|plainly|evidently}. My {tone of voice|tone|words|speech} was {a lot|a great deal|a whole lot|much|very much} different in {a poor|a negative|an undesirable|a terrible|an awful} way. And I sounded {anxious|stressed} as hell.

By {the finish}, {I had been|I used to be|I got} relieved to {obtain it} over with and {hang up the phone}.

Hanging up. {That is the} only good part, isn't it?

{You can} end your misery with a click {and lastly} stop the torture. And you're sure {your partner} is relieved they can also stop {speaking with} this awkward, {anxious|stressed} weirdo too.

Social {Stress|Panic|Anxiousness|Stress and anxiety|Nervousness}: A Fading Nightmare
{In all honesty}, it's {just a little} hard {for me personally} {to keep in mind} that experience.

It's {just a little} hard {for me personally} {to keep in mind} that hearing {the telephone} {band|engagement ring|diamond ring|wedding ring} used to cause instant {stress|panic|anxiousness|stress and anxiety|nervousness} {for me personally}, like {reading|experiencing} a fire {security alarm} go off {within your} pocket. {I'd} freeze, look {within my} {telephone|mobile phone|cellphone|mobile} in terror, {and become} unsure {how to proceed} about it.

But {it has been} {a couple of years} now since I {essentially|fundamentally|quite simply|in essence} cured my {interpersonal|sociable|cultural|public|communal} anxiety. {And the ones} {remembrances|recollections|thoughts|stories|memory} of how difficult normal things used to be {are really} starting to {diminish}.

Now I {grab} {the telephone} like it's {nothing at all|little or nothing}. Whether I'm {phoning|contacting|dialling|getting in touch with} {a pal}, a coworker or {a business|an organization|a firm|a corporation} {to solve} some problem...{I simply} do it. {And it's really} almost unusual {to believe} {this may} have {have you been|have you ever been} {so hard} for me.

So {I am} thinking {recently|nowadays|currently}:

{How come} this simple {job|activity|process} cause you {a lot|a great deal|a whole lot|much|very much} stress, misery and {hurting|fighting|anguish}? {How come} it even often feel much harder than {speaking with} the same person in {true to life}?

Well, here's my {optimum solution}:

Talking on {the telephone} {enables you to} hyper-aware {of each} little part of what you say {and exactly how} you say it (your {tone of voice|tone|words|speech}).

{If you are} talking on {the telephone}, {there is absolutely no} place {so that you can|that you can} concentrate on {aside from}... yourself. Your attention is {firmly|securely} {centered on} yourself...and {you understand} {your partner} is also {carefully|strongly|tightly|directly|meticulously} {hearing} what you're {stating|expressing|declaring}.

Think of {personal|do it yourself|home|self applied} consciousness {just like a|such as a} mirror. {So when} you are {speaking with} someone on {the telephone}, there's nowhere to look but {directly into} that mirror. {And that means you|Which means you} become {very} {alert to} every little part of your {habit|tendencies|patterns|action}, and what {your partner} might {consider it}.

This increased {personal|do it yourself|home|self applied} {awareness} multiplies the {personal|do it yourself|home|self applied} critical voice {within your} head that {highlights} how {anxious|stressed} you {appear}, how {you mustn't} have said that, how you're making {a poor|a negative|an undesirable|a terrible|an awful} impression, {etc|and so forth}.

So a {concern with} talking on {the telephone} {is absolutely|is very} a {concern with} the increased scrutiny (critical observation) you will face. {Not only} from {your partner}, but also from yourself.

{That is why} it {seems} so {unpleasant|uneasy} and {problematic for} someone {as if you} who has {interpersonal|sociable|cultural|public|communal} anxiety {or even more} severe shyness.

The Fix? Overcome The Deeper Issues
{There are a few} articles online that {speak about} "{methods for|techniques for|tricks for|suggestions for|approaches for} talking on {the telephone}." {These pointers} are usually {very|lovely|attractive} basic, superficial, and unhelpful to {anyone who has} social {stress|panic|anxiousness|stress and anxiety|nervousness}. They'll {tell you firmly to} do {things such as} "fake it 'til you make it" without {dealing with|handling|responding to} your deeper issues.

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